Putting it Together
Hebrews 10:32,39
Remember the days past when, after you had been enlightened, you endured a great contest of suffering…You need endurance to do the will of God
Romans 5:3-5
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us
Drawing close to our Lord does not come without its drawbacks. Over the years I have come to know one of those drawbacks far too well, Spiritual Warfare. The closer we draw to Jesus, the harder the devil will pursue and it’s not pleasant. Today’s first reading (Hebrews) whispers to this spiritual reality. “After you have been enlightened”; after God is opened up for us: our eyes are opened, our ears hear, and most importantly, our heart responds. “You endured a great contest of suffering”, aka spiritual warfare. What might this look like? Doubt, discouragement, unexplained sadness, discord with friends and family, a feeling of isolation. As many ways as our Lord has to draw us close, the devil has ploys to draw us away. “Why?” This has been my question so often over the years. “Why would the Lord permit this?” “Why can’t I just remain on the mountaintop of enlightenment?” St. Paul answers this question for me today. I still live firmly on planet earth. To complete this race of Christianity requires endurance and the race of endurance requires [timely trials]. (Any of you who have runners in your life will appreciate the Holy Spirit’s play of words there.) We need endurance to do the will of God. Endurance is hard earned no matter the type, physical or spiritual. I have learned over the years two great truths that have served me well in Spiritual Warfare. First, the devil may try to blind side me, but I am a beloved daughter of God. That means that the devil has no authority and when I sense his attack, I can tell him to go back to… well you know where. And I do. Regularly. It is one of my exceptions for using profanity. He seems to respond well, no surprise. Second, I have learned to recognize that spiritual warfare is a sign that I am moving in the right direction, toward God and His will. The devil wouldn’t need to fight me if I wasn’t. As I read the first reading and its truths settled, the Holy Spirit brought me Paul’s letter to the Romans. Now I understood how Paul could rejoice in suffering. Spiritual suffering isn’t fun, but it is a sign that we are on track, this gives us our hope. Today’s gospel may seem unconnected to St. Paul’s letter, but the Spirit shows me differently.
Mark 4:26-34
“The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground. He sleeps and rises night and day, and the seed sprouts and grows; he knows not how…“With what can we compare the kingdom of God, or what parable shall we use for it? It is like a grain of mustard seed, which, when sown on the ground, is the smallest of all the seeds on earth, yet when it is sown it grows up and becomes larger than all the garden plants and puts out large branches, so that the birds of the air can make nests in its shade.”
You may have noticed my absence from this blog (or not). January has been a mountain of ministry for me. I have been leading both a book study on Matthew Kelly’s, Holy Moments, and Oremus, a video series on prayer. Now I would like to preface this that I chose both of these ministries. I looked forward to both these ministries. I love the concept of Holy Moments and we all know I love prayer. I, however, am an inpatient sower of seed. The devil knows this and uses it regularly against me to sow his own doubt, discouragement, and fatigue. When you lead ministry, you love to see light bulb moments of enlightenment where you know Jesus and that person just made contact. There are stretches of time that can go by where you might not see any flickers of light, such was the case last week. I hit a wall of feeling useless. Thankfully God is good and I have worked to increase my endurance. First the Lord spoke to me through another’s Wisdom, “You are not responsible for another person’s spiritual growth. That is God’s job.” Before I went into my next round of “classes,” I was inspired by a brilliant idea. I just wanted the Holy Spirit to lead. I wanted to get out of my own way (read, not put my foot in it). I prayed to God, “God, for the period of time that I am leading these classes, I freely give you my free will and ask that the Holy Spirit just take over.” This week in my Holy Moments class He was present and lights were lighting, God is good. The Lord in the midst of this sent me a second consolation that brings it all back to today’s Gospel. A man in the group suddenly said to me, “You have no idea the seeds that you are planting through these classes you teach.” I am not kidding. Those words. Jesus is encouraging me to endurance, through His words and others. Keep sowing seeds. I may never see the fruition, but I carry the hope of God’s love that is being poured into my heart through the Holy Spirit, and it is well.
