Last Words
Welcome to Holy Week! These past five weeks may have flown by for some and dragged for others. Some may have held strong to their Lenten commitments while others slipped. Wherever today finds you, today is a new day in the eyes of the Lord and we have the opportunity to draw closer to Him as He draws closer to Easter Sunday. We opened this week at Mass with the reading of the Passion. When I was younger I dreaded this past Sunday. So much more standing and a longer Mass, bummer (it was akin to when I would see all the First Communicants lined up). This Sunday, as we stood to read our Lord’s Passion, I asked Holy Spirit to open new intricacies for me. As we progressed I was sorely wishing I had a pen handy to mark up my booklet. God provides. One of my go to books at this time of year is, The Seven Last Words, by Fulton Sheen. There are beautiful essays written that revolve around one of Christ’s final “words” (aka sentences) in His Passion. On Monday as I began rereading the Passion with pen in hand, Holy Spirit showed me seven new perspectives that lie within the reading, my own seven last words from the Lord. Today I will share with you the first. I am including a link to the Passion reading, please consider spending some time in prayer with it this week.
When it was evening, He reclined at table with the Twlve. And while they were eating, He said, “Amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me…It would be better for that man if he had never been born.” (Mt 26:21, 24) Immediately he went over to Jesus and he kissed him. Jesus answered him, “Friend, do what you have come for.” (Mt 26:49-50) Then Judas, His betrayer, seeing that Jesus had been condemned, deeply regretted what he had done. He returned the thirty pieces of silver… “I have sinned in betraying innocent blood.”… he departed and went off and hanged himself. Mt 27:3-5)
We start with a prophetic word from Jesus, “one of you will betray me.” Judas’ fate was not sealed the moment he dipped his bread with Jesus, it was not sealed when he accepted 30 pieces of silver, it was not even sealed when he handed our Lord over. I believe that Jesus, ever merciful and seeking to lose none the Father gave Him, was reaching out again and again to save Judas on this night. I believe that in uttering this prophecy, Jesus was trying to assure Judas that He knows what needs to be done, that He accepts what needs to be done. Jesus was trying to save Judas the fate of the second prophecy, ‘It would be better for that man if he had never been born.” Jesus’ own words to Judas later are the key to this revelation, “Friend, do what you have come for.” Friend. Jesus called Judas “friend,” still. This was not a word used in sarcasm, anger, betrayal, or judgement. This was a word used in love and forgiveness. I imagine Jesus silently imploring Judas to believe those words, to remember Jesus’ ministry of forgiveness of sins, “I came for mercy, not sacrifice.” We get a peak into the heart of Judas later in the Passion, “seeing that Jesus had been condemned, deeply regretted what he had done.” This tells us two things. First, Judas didn’t fully realize what the outcome of his actions were; he knew Jesus to be innocent as only the Messiah can be, and never expected the outcome of condemnation. If he had, he would never have regretted his decision. In that moment perhaps Holy Spirit was breaking through by lifting the curtain and revealing his guilt with the awakening of conscience. If we look at how Judas responded to the outcome of his actions, his despair becomes all the more tragic. Judas deeply regretted his actions, he confessed his sin, and he attempted to make reparation by giving back the silver. If Jesus had been standing there what would He have done? Jesus would have done what He he did for the woman at the well, the woman caught in adultery, and the man who was lame, and Peter after the resurrection. Jesus would have forgiven Judas. Judas’ damnation, predicted by Jesus, was not the result of betrayal, it was the result of despair. Judas couldn’t be healed by Jesus’ forgiveness because Judas couldn’t forgive himself. Let’s take a lesson from Judas. Jesus forgives. When we acknowledge our failures, repent our shortcomings, and try to be better, Jesus forgives. In my own life and in the conversations I have with others I recognize time and again the wound that remains when we cannot forgive ourselves. Spend some time with Jesus today. Ask Him, “Jesus, where am I hurting because I won’t forgive myself?” Then ask Him, ‘Jesus will you help me to forgive myself?” We can’t do it on our own, we must lean on the Cross of our Savior.
