Freedom from…
“Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” (Mk 4:38)
When I was a small girl there are two events that formed within me a fear that I have not fully overcome: a fear of climbing heights. Not heights themselves but climbing them. Two falls from my childhood solidified this fear. Eight months ago on a day pilgrimage to Holy Hill, my friend Pam and I were climbing the 200 or so steps to view the surrounding Kettle Moraine countryside via the cathedral’s bell tower. As the closed in staircase became a suspended metal staircase hanging in the middle of the wide open bell tower I froze. I tried prayer, I tried not looking out, I tried reasoning with myself, but all to no avail; I could not climb to the top. One week ago Jeff and I were celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary at Ishnala on Mirror Lake. I mistakenly took a deer path instead of the state park path and found myself climbing an embankment in Croc slides when my fear took hold (shortly after my Crocs failed to take hold and I impaled my palm on a thorn). Jeff had to come pull me that last few feet up.
I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:8-9)
Last week Wednesday, continuing our anniversary celebration with ill chosen paths, Jeff and I found ourselves climbing yet again. We were at Devil’s Lake State Park for the first time. We started out smart on the easy path around one side of the lake, but then I became fixated on climbing to Balanced Rock, forgetting the parks descriptions of the paths offered. What had been a paved meandering path winding through the granite boulders became granite stones stacked into a narrow winding staircase climbing, climbing climbing. There were no railings, and often no differentiation between intentional steps and the natural boulders surrounding us. The familiar fear took hold about halfway to the top. We had no clear idea how much further we had to climb yet and no idea what the way down looked like. The Devil seemed to have me between a rock and a hard place, literally (pun intended). When a hiker climbing down our “staircase” assured me there was an easier path down at the top it solidified for me that the only way out of this hell was up. As I resolutely resumed my climb (thank God in tennis shoes and NOT Crocs!) God broke through. On a stone in front of me a butterfly alighted and then flew just in front of me up the next 20 or so steps keeping step with me. God had been speaking to me all month of my sojourn at the cottage in the form of abundant butterflies and this lone butterfly on the side of the mountain was not overlooked. He was letting me know that I was going to be okay. Jesus had calmed the sea of my stormy fear.
God also planted a phrase in this inexperienced hikers brain, [Maintain three points of contact]. And so I finished the climb with one or both hands stabilizing wherever they could. The way back down was indeed easier and opened my soul to a litany of praise to God: Thank you for getting me safely to the top, thank you for my knees and hips holding up, thank you for giving me the courage to do something way outside my comfort zone, thank you for the incredible view, thank you for the butterfly. We celebrate the Fourth of July this week: Independence Day. It is a celebration of freedom. Last week for a space of time God lifted the burden of my fear, He freed me from a fear of falling. This Independence Day let’s chuck Separation of Church and State and invite God’s movement into the areas of our life where fear resides. When we are done having a conversation with Him about our fears, lets take an opportunity to lift this country in prayer, not for our will, for where we feel it should go, but for His will, and where only He can lead. Amen.
I will extol you, O Lord, for you have drawn me up,
and did not let my foes rejoice over me.
O Lord my God, I cried to you for help,
and you have healed me.
O Lord, you brought up my soul from Sheol,
restored me to life from among those gone down to the Pit. (Psalm 30)
